FGM Inc’s Steve Jones faced a tough situation two years ago: how to help his parents who could no longer live on their own. His father suffered from terminal prostate cancer, his mother from vascular dementia, a condition similar to Alzheimer’s. Searching for solutions, Jones found help at work of all places.

Steve Jones of Annandale checks on his mother, Marguerite Jones. Photo by Mark Abraham

Jones learned that FGM’s employee assistance program provides information on potential care providers and a package of practical advice, from legal issues to safety tips. Most importantly, the Dulles software developer let him take the time he needed to find a 24-hour live-in aide and attend to dozens of details, from doctors’ visits to repairs at his parents’ home. "The work environment was supportive and gave me the flexibility to deal with my family’s issues as I needed," says Jones, a father of two who still regularly cares for his mother after his father’s death last year.

Employees like Jones — belonging to what’s called the "sandwich generation" because they are squeezed to help both parents and children — need new types of corporate help. Dismissed not long ago as an extravagance, care giving for the elderly is becoming just as much a legitimate benefits issue as time off after childbirth or sick leave. FGM recognized the trend when it retooled its employee assistance package. "We looked across the board, from prenatal information to advice on helping the elderly," says FGM human resources director Vivian McGaw. "We decided that given the needs, if we provide one, we should provide the other."

Companies need more of that kind of thinking, say advocates of aging agencies. "It’s time to make the workplace more educated," says Harris Spindle, chief executive officer of the Virginia Association of Area Agencies on Aging. "So many people don’t pay attention until they need help and then it’s a crisis."

Nor are the demands from immediate family members only. More families are feeling the stress of caring not only for their children and parents, but for aunts, uncles, even siblings. The National Alliance for Caregiving and the American Association of Retired Persons says at least one in four households provides some care for an older relative; 64 percent of the people in such households work and 41 percent care for children at the same time. Half of the employed caregivers say they have taken time off, arrived at work late or worked fewer hours. Ten percent quit or took early retirement because of the strain.

Companies who don’t plan for such needs are paying the price. Absenteeism, interruptions and replacing workers costs U.S. businesses $29 billion a year when accounting for full- and part-time workers, says a 1997 Metropolitan Life Insurance Company study. "There’s a huge amount of productive work time that’s just taken away," says Sheila Goodwin, co-owner of Elder Care Strategies in Oakton. "Maybe it’s a parent with dementia, fairly serious medical problems, or even general aging kinds of issues that make living alone less safe." All of it can end up being managed by a relative on the job.

And the problem is expected to mushroom. Even if baby boomers don’t think about the needs of aging relatives until age 75, "it’s logical the issue will grow," says Julia Martin, a University of Virginia professor who runs the demographics and work force section of the university’s Weldon Cooper Center for Public Service. Virginia is showing steady increases in all upper age categories, including people 85 and older. Nationally, the number of Americans 65 and older will double within 30 years, as baby boomers themselves grow old.

Demand for help with older relatives has spawned a cottage industry of consultants and advisers who can work within a range of budgets. LifeWork Strategies Inc., a Rockville, Md., firm that counsels Virginia employers and workers, started in 1993 as a clearinghouse for child care, but quickly expanded to tackle the growing need for elder care services. "I’m a baby boomer with two children and a dad with Parkinson’s, a pacemaker and prostate cancer," says Lifework President Judy Ashley. "That’s not untypical of the people we work with." The company tries to alleviate day-to-day worries for workers with relatives living nearby or in another city. "They (employees) would be on the phone at the office or missing work if we couldn’t do the legwork for them."

Martha Pulley, who lobbies for the Virginia Association for Home Care, sees the issue from both sides. At work, she represents companies trying to meet demands for more in-home services for older and disabled people. In her personal life, she checks on her mother, who lives in her home in Norfolk, at least twice a day by phone. Sometimes her two lives collide. "If I can’t get through to her, I keep trying," she says, noting the 100-mile distance between Richmond and Norfolk. Pulley feels lucky to have supportive colleagues and a caring nurse’s aide for her mother. "It can be a distraction, and it’s a little nagging thing that’s always there."

Conducting such research and helping parents negotiate the maze of Medicaid, Medicare and tax paperwork for in-home aides has one benefit for the "sandwich" generation. People understand how critical it is to prepare for their own aging years, especially if they are suddenly searching for parents who didn’t plan for medical care or housing help. "We’re finding more and more baby boomers who want to start planning early," says Bonnie Kaufmann, a Luray elder care consultant who advises families and is writing a book on elder care with her attorney husband. "They don’t want to face the same situation as their parents."

That trend is prompting more companies to offer long-term care insurance, which can help provide housing and health care for workers and older relatives. Companies that offer the benefit help employees think about their futures and encourage relatives to make plans, says Jody Bruce, a representative for Financial Services of Virginia in Richmond. "This way you allow the employer to play a part in opening up the conversation with family members." Workers who plan ahead can save their company headaches too: Some believe that fewer employees would use lengthy unpaid leaves available under the federal Family and Medical Leave Act if they anticipated housing and medical care for their relatives.

Pat Satterfield of Richmond can relate to the "be prepared" approach. The executive director of the Virginia Association of Community Banks says she and her husband planned for nine months before moving his parents from Roanoke to the house next door. The arrangement allows the Satterfields to check in before and after work and to run errands during the workday. "Don’t wait for the fall or the illness, but be thinking about the future," advises Satterfield, who also keeps tabs long distance on her mother in Bedford. "Parents can be in relatively good health and, three months later, all that changes."